| fine for now... (FNF <- pauso ko, hahahaha! :-) |
|
|
| 11:49pm 06/05/2009 |
| |
mood:  drained music: migraine - moonstar 88 (nahihilo...nalilito...)
|
just watched the premiere of "rudo y cursi" at east 19th loews in chelsea, starring diego luna and gael garcia bernal. it's their first ever collaboration as actors since "y tu mama tambien", and i must say, they are pretty cool and believable as loony brothers in this cutesy, soccer-lovin', brotherly film. we (me, swingy, nan, ate mi, and flester) saw the 2 actors after the movie, and they answered questions from the host and the audience alike. i wanted to ask a question just so i would register for a few seconds to the worlds of the two hot things (hotter before, but props for good acting! snaps for DL and GGB! ;-), but was too chicken. diego luna seemed really interested in answering the questions, and gael garcia was kinda in a hurry, `cos he said he missed his baby. it's funny to watch two actors, who also happened to be best friends in real life, play off each other during a Q&A with viewers. diego luna even answered the question (from gael himself) about who was the better kisser between him and sean penn, and diego gamely said "sean penn, because i don't have to see him on a regular basis". such fun!!! ;-) they mistakenly said a joke about obama, when they meant to say osama, talked about gambling research for the film, and producing films together. they weren't starstruck-reaction-inducing, but they were great actors, and i just watched a good movie, so i was feelin' pretty good. awesome way to spend a wednesday night, i must say.
there were a lot of pinoy humor scenes in the movie (pyramid schemes, marrying into illegal money, being generally jologs), so i enjoyed it for the humor factor. the plot is pretty simple, sometimes bordering on preachy, but it was a good experience, nonetheless. yay for foreign films that don't suck!!! yay for missing my rehearsal today with good reason. :-) i miss my quality asian horror movies (not the crappy ones they churned out of the poor-writing and poor-plot factory, but the shocking, icky and disgustingly scary ones). *sigh* i love watching good acting as much as i like to perform myself. *sigh* can't wait for friday for my next rehearsal. c:
anyhoo, back to reality, work is kinda lame. back as an intern, being directed and told what to do verbatim again, and kinda feeling worthless. everybody's happy to have me back (i assumed, so shoot me), but i'm not sure if i feel the same way. kinda rethinking if i should've said yes in the first place about going back, but as i talked to my office crush in the elevator after work, he put it very plainly and simply, "a job's a job". oh well. stop complaining, bitch! :-( but i'm only human, right? i can feel sad when the mood strikes...? my boss even said this weird statement when i passed by his office when i was raring to go home: "reg, how are you? i feel like we're not connecting. you look perturbed." wtf??? it's my 2nd day, what kind of connection does he want to establish?!? and i feel like shit because i trained this girl replacement of me everything she knows, and now she's my boss now because i'm an intern (and i really feel like one `cos that's how she's treating me), is that what you want to hear?!?! tssss... fuck awkward encounters and general work bullshit. biting my tongue ever so often is pushing it. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH* whiny me is annoying, i know. fuck fuck fuck this shitty job!!!
*breathes deeply* that's all i'm gonna say about that for now. iz gonna be alright...
saving grace? i know i've been antsy about the topic of being sick of the people i live with (relatives) lately... BUT!!! in the end, sometimes i guess it's just nice to go home to people you can stand just enough to live with and not end up killing each other. funny convos, stories not having to be told from scratch, and speaking in my native language make up for the redundancy of life in this miniscule shithole in queens. sometimes they can be alllllllright. :-)
i suppose "alright" can trump over: depression, suicidal tendencies, being completely friendless in the city, having non-flaky people to call when i'm super kilig or fucked up, and general anxiety alerts in the bigger picture. alright is good enough for now...
this is poor excuse for writing. sorry, just wanted to update about my past few days before i forget. goodnight, everybody. i need to rest. especially in the brain department. MWAH! |
|
| |
|
2 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| nooninoo... |
|
|
| 01:04pm 04/05/2009 |
| |
mood:  chipper music: "heartbreak hotel" - all shook up ost (don't wanna be lonely no more...)
|
in fairness to this facebook quiz:
http://apps.facebook.com/jologskabaoconyobche/quiz/results
iz a right! i hope! ewan. i woulda thought na jologs ako. pero howell... :-)
anyhoo, enjoying my last day of unemployment. i think i'm going back to affinity tomorrow, if ever my boss calls to say it's a go, for realz (he did, awhile ago, so there we go). my friend, jessie texted my this morning saying she was real happy to receive the birthday card i left on her desk last friday. we had a planned lunch tomorrow, and well duh, i'll be there, so our lunch will definitely push through! :-)
saturday was fun! well, the girl who invited me showed up, so that was a good sign! i missed jenn so much!!! and her friends were nice, one guy who smoked with me was fun to talk to (sana he was cute lang), and she had this REALLY HOT, HISPANIC friend with her. he didn't talk to me though, so damn the man. but it's always nice to look at beautiful people, go dancing, and drink beers and cocktails in manhattan. we drank in 230 at 5th, with a rooftop view of the empire state building, the chrysler, and other pretty new york buildings. the drinks were okay, i guess, $9-$14 per, but howell. paying for the ambiance can be a bitch, but the experience is worth it, nonetheless. techno was king that night, but some top 40's music pushed their way through. plan on going to lunch with jenn sometime this week, and we'll see if this turns out well or not.
blablabla, boring and mundane. shopped through amazon over the weekend, `cos i'm a bragging bag of "yay, sweldo!". my sunday was Mass, dinner with the queens chicas plus bing's boyfriend, lester. today's laundry and song rehearsal day. can't FRICKIN' wait, `cos we're learning my favorite song "heartbreak hotel" from the play today!!! WUHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! yay for theatre!!!!!!!! *confetti*
anyhoo, happy start of the week, peeps! pray, be thankful, and have fun!!!!!! ;-) |
|
| |
|
a hushed audience... |
| |
| procrastinating before getting ready to go out... |
|
|
| 10:28pm 02/05/2009 |
| |
mood: lazy music: matt nathanson - come on get higher (drown me in love <3)
|
| The Part of You That No One Sees is Afraid |  You are passionate, romantic, and emotional.
You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it.
You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out.
Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable.
Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there.
You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful. |
woah. i hate you, quiz! grrr...being honest with yourself is such a bitch... :-(
anyhoo, gotta get ready. let's hope bar # 2 tonight is not a bust like yesterday's plans. cheers, people! ;-) |
|
| |
|
a hushed audience... |
| |
| downturn time... |
|
|
| 03:18am 02/05/2009 |
| |
mood:  pissed off music: wheel - john mayer (that's the way this wheel keeps working now...)
|
my friday rehearsals went great. i always love choreography days, and this was no exception. too bad nick, our director, told me i had to not be so energetic and enthusiastic (the only way i know how to dance in musicals, wahahahaha!) `cos i was supposed to play a 45-year-old mommy who doesn't approve of the hot newcomer in town and disapproves of dancing and fun `cos it's against the law in our town. yep, that's my character for my play in a nutshell. act 1. hahahahaha!
i think that was the only good thing that happened to me today. i went to affinity today, talked to my old boss about the work i was gonna be doing once i start next week (yay to job! going back to my $10 per hour = fail). beggars can't be choosers in this recession. fuck my life, hahahaha! it was kinda awkward, but i guess kinda familiar and homey too, so i guess i can't complain as much. i hugged my office crush, my old co-workers were happy to see me, and it's nice to have a salary to look forward to. *sigh* here we go affinity. *feeble yay*
my parents also called me after my rehearsals today. my dad started with "may bad news ako...", and i knew that our black lab finally lost the battle. he was put to sleep because he started secreting blood for stool and he wasn't eating anymore. the vet said he was in extreme pain, and it was the humane thing to do. so our baby bagorgy, our black lab of less than 5 years was finally put to rest. rest in peace, gordon bleu lim. i will always remember you as the friskiest, most loving, unselfish, and most gwapo black labrador i've ever seen in my life. i can't believe i won't get to hold you anymore, feel your noisy breaths, get slobbered over by you, get crushed by your muscular body when you slam your whole self against me, and in general just be carried away by your enthusiasm and love for life. he proved to be a real fighter, `cos my eldest sis informed me that most dogs dropped dead from what he had, but he had this incessant will to live, and fought it out `til the very end. have fun in heaven with my baby george, baby gords. all dogs go to heaven, indeed.
oh, to cap off my fucked up day, my friend invited me to this club in west 3rd street to celebrate her birthday tonight. 10 pm onwards, she said. i saw her at the office awhile ago, told her i was going to be late, `cos i'd be coming from rehearsals, so i'd be there midnight-ish. arrived there at 12:30, searched the whole entire fucking bar for anyone i knew, got hit on by a haitian man asking for a light outside the bar while smoking, and basically went to a club all dressed up, tired from rehearsals, with no one to meet. my friends all had straight to voicemail responses when i called their cells, went around looking like a retard in search of any familiar faces for around a half hour, and finally, i couldn't see any reason to stay there anymore. went home and ate leftovers and a can of chicken vienna sausages.
fuck this night. sheesh. this all will pass. somehow.
i hope tomorrow is better. |
|
| |
|
1 BRAVA!!! - a hushed audience... |
| |
| loving randomness... ;-) |
|
|
| 04:13pm 30/04/2009 |
| |
mood: cheerful music: baby boy - beyonce feat. sean paul (don't you fight it...)
|
okay, fyi, the company i worked 7 months for last year was called affinity solutions, inc. now, i've been applying to admin jobs via craigslist.com since feb, and most of the companies there don't list their names. so...i guess it wasn't all that farfetched that i applied for my old company for a different position. pay's much lower, work is kinda lame (customer service), and the girl who called me for an interview was a friend of mine! i mean, i'm going to a club tomorrow night to celebrate her birthday! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! the girl who called me was kyra, and she said she called me right away `cos she knew matt, my former boss, wanted an intern, too, and once she passed on the info that i was still unemployed, he might want me for his department again. doing the same thing... starting out as an intern again (ugh!!!), but with more potential to become full-time. *sigh* life's so funny!
and another random thing! i was walking around union square after my job interview with dynalink this afternoon (kinda boring, again, customer service job, bugging people about their bill payments, shit like that). i went to the bank to deposit my state tax check (wuhoo! free money! well, sorta...:-), and was walking around aimlessly, deciding where i wanted to go for lunch, when a person steps right in front of me... it's jessie, my super closest friend in affinity before!!! she was with her boyfriend, johnny, whom i told to "shut up, bitch!", in one of my drunken fits after the company picnic last year. i super hugged them `cos i missed seeing friends, and it's just so random and coincidental to see people i know around the city. as johnny said, "it's the smallest big city in america!". wahahahaha! love it! love fun and cool surprises! finally set my lunch date with jessiebelles for next tuesday! right on! ;-)
anyhoo, exciting weekend up ahead. rehearsals tomorrow from 7:30 pm `til around 9:30 pm. we're blocking tomorrow, so yayyyy! ;-) after that, heading over to the fat black pussycat yet again, `cos that's where kyra's celebrating her birthday. and on saturday, i'm off to 230 at fifth, `cos one of my former co-workers as well, jenny poo, is rounding up her girls to celebrate her fab 26th birthday. haha... hopefully a fun weekend ahead, looking forward to rehearsals, still applying for random jobs, and...well... i guess life is... okay. for the moment. there are so many good songs to download and sing to from the internet, just discovered an online site that shows pinoy movies for free, and i still have money in my bank account, enough to make me feel at ease about not being utterly bankrupt anytime soon.
sweet. life is just sweet. praying for the downturn to not be so devastating. hahaha! whatev! life is okay, i'm still young, and beer is cheap. cheers. ;-) |
|
| |
|
2 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| *sigh* what is this funk?! |
|
|
| 01:26pm 29/04/2009 |
| |
mood:  bored music: can't help falling in love with you - all shook up ost (meant to be...;-)
|
since i totally enjoyed my boston weekend, i've been thinking how my life here in the big apple is kinda lame. our flat is tiny, there is absolutely no privacy in this house, i have no friends, life is becoming routine and...
well... to be honest, i think once the novelty of informing others that you've moved to new york is gone, plus if you haven't improved your life significantly (at least for my horribly high standards) in a couple of years, a drastic change is needed. i want a different vibe from my place of work and my home. i loved being in a campus environment over there in cambridge. i loved living with friends, not relatives. i loved living in a house, with a washer, dryer, and a dishwasher so i can be encouraged to cook more. i loved being allowed to have pets in the house (although i'm a big dog person, i could live with a cat! :-). all those seem really shallow and petty reasons to move but...i love boston! wahahaha!
my parents called me while i was there. i told them about the huge house, the fun environment, and the cool people. since i was with friends who graduated from/are about to go to harvard, my parents said i should try it, too. harvard? if ever i'm gonna try for ivy league, let's go yale!!! :-) hahaha...but seriously, my parents really want me to go to further studies. i don't want to, as of the moment, because i enjoy working, but i guess it doesn't hurt to look into it. there are a whole mess of good schools in boston, and it's nice to keep an open mind. *sigh* i want a job now, first! need money and then i can really focus on what i want to be doing for the rest of my life.
what's keeping me sane through this unemplyment phase is my play! :-) i have my 2nd song rehearsals later, and i think we're going to be learning a song where i have a solo later. KEEEEEEEEEE!!!! sooooooo exciting! i've never sung a solo in english as a title character before. can't frickin' wait! i'm beside myself thinking about blocking, choreography, and learning more songs!!! man, i wish i could be in the ensemble as well, so i could learn all their choreography. man, i can't wait to rehearse later!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
anyhoo, not all is funk and play and overall confusion in my life. i'm still keeping track of my priorities. have a job interview tomorrow, in an office near union square, so i guess that's cool. i didn't get the other job i thought was in the bag for me, but hell, i'm not all that upset. let's just see where this year is going to take me, hahahaha! on sadder news though, our black lab is still paralyzed. one vet told us it was hopeless, and it was best that he be put to sleep because his condition was indefinite, and there was nothing to be done about it. but another vet told my family that he was just anemic for now, and he could still live! and my sister called me awhile ago, and told me, despite of his paralysis, he was still a hungry little boy, finishing off whole siopaos and cheeseburgers. ;-) he has a strong will to live, and he's definitely a fighter, our baby gordon bleu. so proud of him! i'm still expecting the worst though. i guess in this situation, really, only time and prayers can tell. *siiiiiigh*
life is so surprising. i hope i get a good one soon. here's hoping! :-) |
|
| |
|
5 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| the good and the bad... (updating from boston, ma) |
|
|
| 12:12pm 24/04/2009 |
| |
mood: lazy music: move - MIMS (sex song according to nic?! huwaaa? ;-)
|
the good
just wanted to log my first scriptreading which happened on wednesday night in queens. the whole cast and crew of maggie's little theater were really fun, sweet, accommodating, and just plain lovely, that i couldn't wait for monday so that i could rehearse for the play already!!! hahaha, excited much? i suddenly missed the very protective and family-like atmosphere of theatre, and everyone in there seemed very talented and passionate about the arts, so i could tell that they would make for some interesting friends once rehearsal starts. the very fun thing too was that i saw the guy that i had to kiss for the play. since i'm playing a mature, black, honky-tonk owner whose husband died 6 years ago, of course my love interest would have to be age appropriate. so...i'm kissing a guy who looks like santa claus for the play.
three times.
and the black girl who plays my daughter? she's 22...a mere 2 years younger than me. bwahahahahaha, heaven help me pull this off. i need all the good luckies i can get! ;-)
i thought about what a hassle commuting via bus to the rehearsal area was, which would take me a good 30-45 minutes each way... but then i found out lisa, my daughter in the play, travels all the way from long island just to be part of this show. woah. that's a long island railroad train, a subway plus a bus to boot for the commute. okay...no more complaining and whiny ass bitching for me. on with the show!!! \m/
the bad
the bad news is...our black lab, gordon bleu, is gravely ill. he started having pains around a few weeks ago, due to an incurable virus, which led to the paralysis of his lower body. my family reported that he may never walk again. then he started showing signs of recovery, and they got to take him home to heal. then he started getting sick again. this time with uti. fuck... then the UTI started to abate, but the virus kicked in again, and my family said he may not survive this. his organ failure started on wednesday night, and they were about to put him to sleep because there was nothing to be done about it anymore...
but my eldest sister's fellow dog-lover friend, who's a bit of a psychic, said she could still see gordy's spirit running and being healthy and on the way to recovery. she said baby bagorgy wasn't ready to go yet. and the vet then said to my family that gords was showing signs of improvement. the uti may go away, the paralysis may never do, but he could be a wheelchair doggie if we wanted it. he could LIVE!!!
friends, please pray for our dog. he's not even 5 yet. :-( i love him to bits, and it's really sad to know that he may never walk again, because he's one of the friskiest, most ALIVE dogs i have ever encountered in my life. the possibility of my never seeing him again really saddens me. i hope to God not another one of our dog dies while i'm here, too far away to comfort or just love them.
life is a delicate balance, i guess. you can't have too many of the good things. i just wish the bad things didn't have to happen to dogs. *sigh*
on other pet news, i'm starting to find a newfound appreciation for cats as pets here in boston. nic's house has three (gopher, lila, and her own monk), and i've been playing with them all morning. i miss having cuddly, furry pets. animals should rule the world!!! :-)
that's my update for now. will shower, explore boston by myself, then onto clubbing and hekhek possibilities here in massachusetts. going away on va-cay is a blast! i hope everyone is doing well. MWAH!!! ;-) |
|
| |
|
7 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| easy lang... ;-) |
|
|
| 02:44pm 21/04/2009 |
| |
mood: bouncy music: what is this feeling - wicked OST (LOATHIIIING...:-)
|
got back home here in the flat around 2 hours ago. just came from my 2nd interview with shoppers world, office near bryant park, and i'm pretty cool about whatever the outcome may be. the interviewer said he shouldn't say it, but he liked me (yay!), but i was really intimated by his interviewing manner. he was kinda brisk and frank and i felt like i was being grilled about my past jobs, rather than merely asked, hahaha. the pay is shitty, office chaotic, but again, who am i to complain during this recession. i'll take whatever i can get, thank you very much. wu. hoo. easy lang... no pressure. i'll keep looking then if i don't get it. :-)
oh, and great news!!! i passed my auditions for "all shook up"!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yayyyy!!! my first new york play!!! the director, nick, told me they really liked my audition, my personality shined through (WEH! `di nga...? hahahaha!), and they were excited for rehearsals with me! XD i get to play sylvia, the mother of one of the leads, and she has a lot of great, big, brassy numbers, and a frickin' solo song!!! woahhhhhhh!!! never have i ever sung an intimidating solo number that's intended to be sung by a black female vocalist. props to the good people at maggie's little theater for giving me this chance, but i sure hope i don't disappoint... whatev, i just wanna have fun! i get to act again!!! after more than a year's hiatus from the stage, i'm a performer again!!! thank you, God, for the gift of this show! my 1st script reading is tomorrow. wheeeeeeeee!!! i hope i can make you proud!!! :-)
also, i get to travel this week! i'm on my way to boston!!! yay for nicole lim, high school salutatorian, harvard alum and my very good friend since kindergarten (seatmates forever, whaddaya expect? hahahaha!) for inviting me to her flat, and yay for seeing gena chua (grade school valedictorian and another good friend, wheeeeee!) who's also going to be visiting this week AND who's about to study in harvard as well. what's up with harvard? should i, like, apply there na rin?! hahahaha! as if. but boston, here i come!!! i hope it's gonna be an epic va-cay!!! ;-)
nooninoo...nothing doing... i'm just taking it easy, having fun, and trying my darndest to live as stress-free as i could. i hope the good things keep on coming, and i sincerely wish that i'm about to experience my rainbow after the rain... (ew. i'm gross, yeah! such is life...) hahahaha...
still daydreaming about my crush everyday...libre naman mangarap diba? oh yeah! that's all for now. MWAH! ;-) |
|
| |
|
4 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| happy but sick of this place at the same time... |
|
|
| 02:12pm 19/04/2009 |
| |
mood:  complacent music: listen - stonefree (i just want things the way they were)
|
my weekend was sort of productive, fun, exciting, but at the same time annoying, depressing, and sickening, too.
friday
went for a job interview near bryant park, for a data-entry thingy (tsss, what else. in this recession though, i'll take anything! ;-). it was in east 40th street, in a nondescript mezzanine floor office in an even more nondescript building near a deli. but f--- me though, when i opened the door, a chorus of filipino conversations greeted my ear, that ranged from "oo, pinadala ko na ang report na yun!" to "mare, pamangkin ko o..." "o, antangkad mo na ihoooo!".:-) :-) :-) holy cow. i felt right at home. everyone was really casual and laid back, in jeans or other variations of awesome casual clothing (which is the kinda outfit and feel i look for in an office, for sure!). i hoped the interviewer, claudine, would be filipino, too, but she turned out to be this skinny white girl who looked 25 max with a really friendly smile. :-) our interview went great! she saw that i worked in a dog house before, and we took a long time getting to the interview proper, because we basically just chatted about dogs, theatre, living in different new york states! hahaha! she said i should expect a call back on monday because she liked me, and that i was her best interview the whole day! yayyyy for job prospects! ;-)
that was at 2:30pm. 7:30pm, i went to audition for "all shook up" in a nearby community theatre. they were called maggie's little theatre for a parish, and it went quite well. i LOVE auditioning for performances (be it plays, films, commercials, hahaha, different experiences), and this was no different. sang my audition staple, "take me or leave me" from rent, and enjoyed doing the choreo and reading the part of the lead's best friend, lorraine. will hear back results tomorrow, but man, i sincerely hope i can act even just once this year in the city!!! *crosses fingers*
saturday
did nothing the whole day `cos i wanted to relax and be ready for my WICKED night, watching the awesome, sold-out phenomenon that was "Wicked" and clubbing in fat black pussycat in the village.
there are not enough superlatives in the english dictionary that could express my deep appreciation for "Wicked". flawless performances, high energy, great ensemble, fantastic tandem of elphaba and guh-linda, great arrangement and lyrics...i could go on and on... i cried, i laughed, i felt fear, my hair stood on end during most of the play because of excellent singing, and eventually, stood up for the standing ovation for the brilliant cast members of the show. my elphaba was nicole parker from MADTv (from the newer seasons, the kinda subpar funny episodes, until it got mercifully cancelled), which was kinda weird, `cos i guess i never really thought of them as talented enough to be in broadway, to be quite honest. but she was excellent, singing more poppier versions of the broadway hits, and she gelled incredibly well with the glinda character, who was super cute, so legally blonde, and overall bimbo with substance played to perfection. BRAVO, Wicked cast. i will save money to watch it again in the future, definitely. if i could save enough money to have all my friends appreciate the play with me, i really would!!! loved. WICKED. period. *confetti*
after that, my cousins and my sis picked me up from the theatre as we were going clubbing in the awesomely named bar/danceclub that is fat black pussycat. the $15 cover was kind of annoying, the music great from 12mn-3:00am, with top 40 songs all the way and 80's greats!!! 3 onwards, they switched to old school black rap and salsa, so i was itching to get outta there, grab a cab, and just drive straight home, trying to savor the dancing and the yummy drinks. it's a good place to go with your friends, not to meet people, so suffice to say, no hekhek moments that night, hahaha. just as well. i was kinda lazy to even go in the first place, and was in no mood to make small talk with strangers while still in WICKED mode (you know, touched, fulfilled and sigh-y state? ;-).
the adventure wasn't the bar. it was the drive home. my sister, mia, apparently didn't eat enough oily foods for dinner to defend her from the alcoholic drinks from the club. yo, i drink a lot and don't (well, rarely) judge, but i don't really care for people needing assistance after a night out because they're complete deadweight, almost about to puke in the cab (traumaaaa...) much to the dissatisfaction of our cab driver, falls over in the sidewalk, falls over in our front porch, falls on the side of the toilet, and pukes on my pink coat. and i guess if i'm being honest...it was supposed to be MY night. i rarely want the spotlight on me, seriously, but somehow, she was again the point of excitement. i'm kind of sick of always having to be the responsible younger sister, the saner one between us two, the one who always has to understand and cover up for her mess. *sigh* ewww, debbie downer alert, so i guess that's all i have to say about that. bottomline, i'm sick of this house. i'm sick of hanging out with my relatives all the time `cos i have no friends here. and i guess i'm just lonely. :-(
but anyhoo, i watched "you changed my life" `til 6am this morning `cos i was jossed up from the night before (2 packets! hahaha!) and we just got a DVD from my tita in manila. lloydie is in my heart, for sure. but to be honest, i hated the movie. i hated the message it was saying, that you have to settle with your significant other's schedule even though you already feel like crap for being stood up or made to wait all the time. sarah wasn't cute anymore, lloydie was too pa-cute for my liking (althought, of course, kilig ever sa effin' hot moments niya!!! <3), and basically, i think they took out the fairy tale of the movie, which was the mere baiss of its appeal to me in the first place. various scenes hinted at another sequel to follow, but i don't think i'd be watching that, no matter how hot lloydie may be in it.
anyways, weekends are for chores too, `cos this is real life, and life isn't always free broadway plays and clubbing to meet random men and drinking overpriced drinks. i need to do my laundry and then go to Mass to say hi, thank you, and sorry to God for my whole week. good luck with your weeks, friends. MWAH! ;-) |
|
| |
|
2 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| 24 wishes on my 24th year on Earth... |
|
|
| 01:17pm 16/04/2009 |
| |
mood:  grateful music: rockin' that thang - the dream (wanna gyrate forever!!! \m/)
|
( 24 Birthday Wishes on my 24th Year on Earth )
anyhoo, it was a lazy, comfy, and totally laid back birthday celebration for me, which is totally what i wanted. we had pasta, watched top model, and the new show on tvland called "the cougar", bwahahaha. it's my 3rd birthday abroad, 2nd here in the united states (the very first one away, we were in macau). we had the traditional, corny ass surprise at 12 midnight courtesy of my sister, mia, and my 2 cousins, bing and nan. i requested for a sansrival cake, and lo and behold, there it was, a most unpopular cake in new york, but they apparently got it from a nearby pinoy resto. soooo happy i got my favorite cake for my birthday. and recycled candles pa to boot? sa'n ka pa? hahahaha! love it! and i got all the shit i asked for and others were within my realm of interest.
i requested for a ds game called "rhythm heaven", which i'm totally addicted to now, because i'm a geek that way. i got an asian horror movie dvd called "zoo" (um, thanks? kinda boring, but i get what you're trying to do), and requested for hair accessories and got exactly those i wanted (see? am easy to please...in my own demanding way, wheeee!). but best part is yet to come...
I'M WATCHING "WICKED" THIS SATURDAY ON BROADWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shizzzzzz... surreal. my thoughtful sister got it for me, and i'll be watching on the mezzanine level of the gershwin theatre. damn, i still can't believe it!!! and the most "winner" part of the gift is, when i opened the envelope and saw it, i shrieked, and then asked, "sino kasama ko???", and i got a chorus of jubilant "ikaw lang!!!"'s. bwahahahaha! apparently, they thought i was resilient and confident enough to watch a broadway show all by my lonesome (which i am, did it for "avenue q" when i couldn't catch the manila showing), so there we go. elphaba, "defying gravity", and all-american "wicked" fabulosity, here i come on saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *happy dance while surrounded by falling confetti*
they're gonna pick me up after the play and we're gonna go clubbing in this place called "fat black pussycat". they say the music is funky, and the drinks are alright, but i think i just really picked it out because of the novelty of me going to a bar called such was too hard to pass up. hope everything works out fantastically. will i be in the mood to shake my booty and get piss drunk (again) in the city after watching a sold-out phenomenon? we'll soon find out.
awww, and i just got a gourmet gift basket from my entire family in manila (card signed from papa, mommy, ate mayi, lala, jiju, ate chawi, buch, brown, gords and rupert ~ last 4 are our dogs, hahahaha!). so sweet. they must really miss me, as we're not the touchy, 7th heaven-y kinda family. but i love them just the same...in my own weird way. yehey! thank you, God, for all these blessings. :-)
thank you from the bottom of my heart, for all those who greeted me on MY day. is facebook the new text greeting? was kinda disappointed `cos i charged my globe phone for 8 birthday greetings...but it's all good `cos the very first one was from my crush in manila, who i have no idea how he knew it was my birthday, but very very kilig and super thoughtful, so i'm a happy! ;-) XD :-) thank you to the facebook greeters, and the others who got creative in sending me their best (multiply, texts to my US phone, calling my US phone, texting me sa globe, plurk, and LJ :-).
i love you all. and will try to love life for you all! MWAH!!! virtual hugs and heartfelt kisses to each and everyone of you!!! *confetti for everybody* ;-P |
|
| |
|
8 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| hungover and happy... |
|
|
| 09:34am 14/04/2009 |
| |
mood:  sick music: sa uulitin - mojofly (muli.)
|
i resigned from my horrible internship job as cold-caller. over the phone. through voicemail.
i've never done anything that scummy before. as in, i'm usually too scared and respectful of authority to be doing something so informal, or so crass, but i have absolutely no regrets about what i did. i just woke up today thinking, i cannot possibly do what i did yesterday all over again. call hundreds of doctors' office numbers and advertise our product and be rejected over and over again? for 8 hours? please. i really would rather be unemployed than do that. yesterday, i became one of those people i usually hate - a clockwatcher. i kept on counting down the hours until the end of the day so i could get the fuck out of that office and retain my sanity.
all this sponteneity could've been brought about by 4 tall glasses of long island ice bulls yesterday. there's nothing like drinking with pinoy friends from manila here in new york. pineds was here from pittsburgh with his girlfriend, carren, and i saw andrei again, whom i haven't seen since his birthday in feb (jersey boy, tssss). hahaha. had so much fun! brought them to the world trade center site and then suggested that we go to greenwich village for dinner and drinks. they had a super asian day, spending lunch in chinatown over dimsum and roast duck noodle soup, and we all partook of japanese sushi goodness and sake for dinner. we went to this kitschy lounge down in macdougal near bleecker and smelled hookah smoke all around. good times, good convos, and good smoking chats with drei almost made for the embarrassingly hot mess i made of myself last night.
i don't remember where all my cash went. i don't know if i paid for my drinks. i puked in the cab drive home. this resulted in the cab driver driving through a car wash to get his car cleaned, thus dampening the mood to an otherwise brilliant night out. i'm happy i was with friends, though. i'm sure they understand that i just really wanted to have a good time, and i shouldn't punish myself for every stupid mistake i make. life's too short. and as an added note about my resignation as a lame intern doing fucking cold calls the whole day, life's too short to be doing something you can't stand. i woke up this morning hungover, ready to spew again, makeup from yesterday still on, but happy as hell about resigning.
*sigh* i don't know what's gonna happen with me now. keep on applying to jobs, of course, and i guess just pray for the best. i'm young and fabulous, and even if the bills keep piling up, and no job offer is in plain sight, i think imma just smile and say "screw you!" to anyone who thinks any less of my life at this moment. hahaha. good morning, world. i'm ready for anything you've got! ;-) |
|
| |
|
5 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| she would've been 13... and of morning maury musings... |
|
|
| 10:26am 10/04/2009 |
| |
mood:  awake music: "poker face" (acoustic) - lady gaga (you gotta love her! ;-)
|
dear george,
happy birthday to a would-have-been-thirteen-year-old baby japanese spitz, GEORGINA "GEORGE" VERONICA MEDRANO LIM!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope you're having a fabulous frolic in doggie heaven, along with the other bitches, the purebreeds, the mongrels, and the innocent native dogs (do you miss baby butch and scary? i'm sure you had a crush on gordon bleu! ;-). i'll say a little prayer for you in Mass later. i know you're in a better place, but i can't help but miss you everyday... i wish i could hug you again, not now. but maybe someday...:-) i love you, baby!!! rest in peace...
~your mom/sis/godmother/best friend/roommate/all-around maid, haha - rina :-)
i miss my dog so much. but God has His plans.:-)
haha, onto non-Good Friday news, i was let off work early yesterday! thank, God!!! i was dreading another 5 hours of horrible cold-calling after getting back from lunch, when my boss asked me if i was getting a lot of doctors on vacation because of passover, this jewish holiday. i said yes, eventhough i wasn't sure, so he said after i faxed a load of documents for his prospective clients, i could go. and i didn't have to come back until monday. yayyyyyy!!! so here i am on a friday, off work, and happy as i can be without getting paid, hahaha!
what do i do with my gloriously free friday morning? watched the "maury show" of course! it was a good morning wake-up call. the "maury show" -- helping white trash all over america one baby daddy problem at a time!!! ;-) the episode this morning had the skeazy boyfriends confess to their wives/girlfriends that they've been cheating on them for some time and all that jazz. my favorite was this guy, who'd been on the show before because he was cheating on his girlfriend at the time. this time, the girlfriend forgave him and they've been married for 3 years, and he's about to confess that he's been cheating on her for THREE years. scumbag. well, after he tells her the secret, she slaps him hard across his face and tries to walk away. when he tries to explain himself, you know what he says...?
"i'm so sorry, baby. it was an accident. i was drunk..."
winner!!!!!! as in, that was super solid, and one of the most awesome-ST lies i've ever heard. i was drunk, so i cheated on her...for THREE YEARS!!! wahahahahahahaha!!! lmao!!!!!
the moral of the posting of this trash tv segment? no matter how low you think you have sunk in your life...there will always be the guests on the "maury show" that will constantly remind you, that there are people with "bigger" problems *snicker*. that's one of my dream roles. to be a guest on the "maury show". wouldn't that be just fabulous??? \m/
silly, silly morning. please pray for my dog today. she passed away last year in july. iz her birthday!!! *confetti* love and peace. bye! ;-) |
|
| |
|
a hushed audience... |
| |
| lazy sunday... (chronic-what!-cles of narnia!!! \m/) |
|
|
| 10:45am 05/04/2009 |
| |
mood: okay music: let's make a night to remember - bryan adams (let's do something amazing...)
|
woah, i am now a believer of this personality quiz
( Creepy Personality Quiz Results )
anyhoo, about my weekend, which technically started on friday after work... well, i was supposed to meet up with this friend of mine who was going to treat me to dinner. i get off work at 5:30 pm, and she said she'd be done at around 6:30 pm... i said fine, i'll walk around midtown a bit and window shop at my old haunts.
6:30 pm comes, and i text her jokingly (i was still in a good mood then) saying: "hoy, 6:30 na! tama na trabaho, hahahaha! ;-)". i tried calling her a bunch of times before that, always direct to voice mail, and no text or anything about the plan... ok, getting a bit pissed, i tried to drown my annoyance in clearance sales nearby. okay...7:30 pm comes. i'm thinking, woah, not even a text or a call about lateness or backing out? fuck this shit... i think i got stood up. i tried walking by her office again, thinking she just might've been released from work or something, but nothing. by 7:45 i decide i'm going home. i'm in kmart, about to go out into the subway, when she calls me, saying:
"reg, kakauwi ko lang, shet sorry po, namatayan ako ng batt, kaya hindi kita ma-text or call kasi hindi ko alam number mo..."
she lives in jersey, more than an hour away, and i live 20 mins. away if i take the express train. i've been waiting 2 hours for someone WHO ALREADY WENT HOME!!! and i'm sorry, that is the lamest use of technology as an excuse to be a flaky asshole of inconsideration. ugh!!! needless to say, i used my deadpan, irritated voice (was still in a public place and did not want to make a scene), so i said a curt goodbye and went on to my commute. i finished a 40 oz. bottle of beer when i got home. that's my friday night. hahahaha, what a loser. >_<'
saturday morning, i spent teaching conversational english to immigrants in the NMIC (northern manhattan improvement center). it's always a fun thing for me to volunteer because i know these people go through great efforts to be there (like my public school kids in ANI, i miss them so much!!! :-( ), and it's so simple to give them useful information and just to help them out in a small way with big results. my "students" were 28-yr-old iselda from dominican republic and 52-yr-old anna from ecuador. at first, of course the niceties had to be covered (name, where you from, how long have you been in new york, blabla...), but later on, they really got to talking when i asked them what they missed most about their respective countries. i will volunteer again (go, www.nycares.org!!! :-) and i hope i get to enjoy and learn more about other people when i do.
last night was just a pizza and some awesome buffalo wings from papa john's. and today, i plan to do my laundry and go to Mass to celebrate Palm Sunday. weekends can be boring, but also a time for rest above all. SO not looking forward to working tomorrow, so imma make this day feel a lot longer than it is. enjoy your weeks, friends. MWAH! ;-) |
|
| |
|
4 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| internship upped by .5 points... |
|
|
| 11:58pm 02/04/2009 |
| |
mood: sleepy music: haunted - the pogues ("the matchmaker" ftw!!! i am janeane garofalo!)
|
my boring, lameass, internship in chelsea is kinda lightening up. i still think the job is as boring as fuck, and that i can't wait for it to be over so i can start looking for another job, but at the same time, am happy i'm getting paid even in peanuts during this recession.
one perk is, they're not making us do data entry tomorrow. they wrote us out a sales spiel and all we have to do is call a bunch of doctors and offer them a free lcd tv. sweet. i never really cared for being a salesman myself, but it seems simple, it's not a scam or a crummy product, and it's pretty easy. hurray for not straining my eyes tomorrow while looking at boring excel sheets! \m/
secondly, i'm really close to the flatiron building, which is a cool thing to look at while going home. and i'm close to the washington square park, which has a doggie park in its vicinity so i can ogle cutie pie doggies while missing my babies back home.
but the BEST part about working in chelsea is that i'm super near shake shack! it's this awesome burger place that serves up the fattiest veggie burger (portabello mushroom instead of meat, with cheesy goodness INSIDE the mushroom *drool*) ever imagined. i haven't eaten red meat since 2008, and i have just been craving for a burger. usually, the lines are really long (up to 30-40 people, eep! >_<'), but on monday, i lucked out and there was no line! hurrah! it was the first time i ever tried their shroom burger (prolly the last time too, on account of it being a calorie monster), and it was SOOOOOOOO yummy and SOOOOOOOO worth trying!!!
Shake Shack, Madison Avenue, NYC
Shroom Burger of Death!!! \m/
i also had a beer and a cocktail with my co-intern today. it's super platonic, `cos i feel like he's my little brother with a british accent, hahaha. we were just walking around after work, and we started wondering whether or not our supervisor was gay, bonding about how lonely it was to live in this city, and how it's really hard to make friends. i told him, just use your accent, i'm sure you'll make friends fast!!! he said...he thought the same thing, too. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! he's fun to talk to, and i wish he were cuter so i have eye candy in the office while i'm drowning in boredom doing data entry, but i can deal with nice with a kickass accent as someone to work with for now. better that than just an office full of suits and oldies. *sigh*
i miss having friends. new york really is a lonely city without them.
anyhoo, that's all for now. enough sent-emo-tion. i'm getting misty-eyed. damn. goodnight! ;-) |
|
| |
|
4 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| data entry death... |
|
|
| 11:31pm 26/03/2009 |
| |
mood: drained music: kiss the girl - colbie callait (kiss de gel...;-)
|
went to my first day of my internship today. it's boring as fuck. but am just happy that i have a paying gig for now. birthday money, here i come!!! ;-) it's data entry, plain and simple. good thing i can listen to my iPod while working. yayyyy!!!
have a real live british straight from london who's my co-intern at the office. hahahaha. he looks kinda goofy, like the lead singer of supergrass, but i can listen to that accent the whole day!!!!!!!! yummy voice! he's the type i can invite to a couple of beers maybe after work as a cool buddy or a fun chum (fun chum?!?! hindi ko rin kinaya!!! LOL).
this project is temp lang naman, so kahit nakakabobo, i guess sandali lang naman. onting tiis lang, onting hirap. am happy i have a job during this recession. so yayyy! blind and migraine-ify me with the boring details, universe. bring it on, camown!!!!!!! \m/
oh!!!!! i wanna explain gaano AKO ka-torpe. read from "glamour" magazine kasi na if you wanna flirt with somebody (something i am an epic failure at), stare at your object of affection, hold the gaze for about three seconds, and when the other person stares back and gives a favorable response, hell yeah, you've got him/her hooked!!!!! i saw this cutie guy from my new subway stop from afar...i was looking at him i guess a little too intently... he walks closer, catches my eye, and...HOLDS THE GAZE! wtf!?!? bwahahahahahaha! i had "glamour" in my head, told myself to hold the glance for a few seconds (seriously, a few seconds feels so long), and he smiles back!!! wth?!!?
bwahahahaha. of course, any self-respecting person would not assume about the obvious, but seriously, i never have experiences like these even here in wild wild nyc! what do i do now...? i could sense him from my peripheral, and this. is. my. moment.
...so i looked away. put on lip gloss. and wrote in my organizer.
no follow through, folks. yup, that's me. feeling tough pero wussy pala. hehehehehe. hope i have more successful entries on this matter in the future...;-)
gots to sleep. work tomorrow. iz friday!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-) |
|
| |
|
5 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| ugh. i hate sluts. |
|
|
| 10:21pm 25/03/2009 |
| |
mood: annoyed music: paper planes - MIA (appreciated this super sa "slumdog millionaire"!!! :-)
|
my sister's staying the weekend over at her boyfriends's house next week. she was asking permission from me and my cousin, but she's the type who's gonna do whatever the hell she wants regardless of whatever anyone else tells her. and why the fuck was she asking our permission for it anyway? do what you want, you're a grown woman, whatever, your choice, bitch...
tssss...sorry. i wouldn't get this worked up if i trusted her or respected her still. she had issues before with less than up-to-par guys she's been dating (janitor, working in a salon, guy who worked in a palengke, seriously), and they were serious issues, too. i guess it's just a matter of respect, which i really don't have for her anymore, since the last disaster of an excuse she called her boyfriend.
whatever. anyone can say that maybe i'm just being uptight and nosy `cos i don't have a love life of my own. but it's difficult. i can't help but be overprotective. i'm fucking tired of being an ate all the time. it's fucking exhausting and it takes a lot out of me.
fix your life first, loser!!! fix your priorities and fix your issues!!!!!!
okay, annoying, preachy bitch taking over. sorry, what's a blog for, `di ba?
oh, i got a paid internship na pala. will do data entry for ten bucks an hour with boring shiz details... it's a job. can't complain. but yay! won't be unemployed on my birthday!!! :-)
hayun...i hope i get a life with this job, not focusing on the stupid life of others...
tssss.. wishing everyone is better off with their own lives. kisses! ;-) ~ hahaha, schizo! wuhoooo!!! :-) |
|
| |
|
a hushed audience... |
| |
| spring is in the air, supposedly, but i can't feel it... |
|
|
| 02:06pm 25/03/2009 |
| |
mood:  contemplative music: i fell in love without you - motion city soundtrack (what we used to call love)
|
they did say it was officially spring, but that doesn't mean it still won't be freezing at times and the wind wouldn't give you whiplash anymore while you're walking. so, it's spring, but the air definitely feels wintery still. *sigh*. can't wait for warmer weather so i could walk around the neighborhood and actually do things without being pissed off at the freezing cold. soon...warm weather is coming soon...
as is my birthday! whoopee... hahaha. i never was a big fan of my birthday, because i always end up being disappointed or pissed off for some reason. but, the perk of that is, i never have to spend anything that day, i get free shit (that i usually request for specifically, `cos my friends know i'm a real bitch when given crap), and all the foods i've been craving for, there they are all of a sudden.XD so, yay, birthday, sweet birthday, here i come! i think this is going to be the third birthday i've spent away from manila...kinda sad, `cos i've always wanted to be home on my day, but...i guess this is my home now. woah. reality bites.
what else... still jobhunting, kinda going nuts, but i'm just taking it day by day with the avoidance of the crazy, you know? i have to keep sane for job interviews and stuff like that. and i really believe God has a plan for everything. i just have to be patient to figure out what it is.
on a random note, i want a stethoscope for my birthday. is that super weird? i've always been weird, in my book, so it's not so out there. `cos i always wanna hear my heart beating whenever i get heartburn after a night of drinking, or listen to it when i'm tense or nervous...kinda comforts me to know that i still know what's going on inside me...wahahaha. yup, be creeped out all you want, i just might give myself a stethoscope as a birthday gift. go, amazon, gooooooo!!! :-)
happy news: david hyde pierce has another play in new york city!!!!!!!!! i'm a big fan of his since "frasier", watched as much of his movies as i could ("full frontal", "down with love", "a bug's life", "wet hot american summer", "treasure planet", "the mating habits of the earthbound human" (yes, i was obsessed ;-), and watched him in the broadway play "curtains" last year. he has an off-broadway play coming this april (with broadway ticket prices, fuck! :-(, oh well...) called "accent on youth", and i'm hoping i get a job soon so i could buy tickets. i got another job interview call this morning, so i'm hoping that i'll be getting a paycheck sometime soon...
in the meantime, guess i have to live by the "so what?" motto... unemployed? bored? single? people too busy for you? bitches and dickheads all around? no consistent money flow coming in...? so what?!!?!?
life's short. who wants to waste it lamenting on everyday shit? it's real life, baby. just live it!
wheeeeeeeeee!!! here's to praying for the best! MWAH! |
|
| |
|
3 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| *sigh* unemployment... |
|
|
| 04:14pm 23/03/2009 |
| |
mood: bored music: i believe -blessid union of souls (rock remix is awesome!!!)
|
just got back home from a weekend in poughkeepsie (upstate new york) with deppy. we played scrabble, had a picnic, hiked in the woods, and dranks cases of $2 beers...all-american suburban shiz. thanks for the escape away from queens for the weekend, deppy! muchos gracias pero no gusta returnar! hahahahaha! :-)
back in my apartment in good ol' queens. my cousin and my sister had visitors from california, and i spent the morning having to endure small talk with people i hardly know. i submitted resumes to prospective employers all over the city through lethargy-inducing online classifieds. luckily enough, i got one call back, hence, i have a job interview tomorrow in the afternoon. yay for small happy things, but sadness all around.
been unemployed since feb 16 (the 1st day i started looking). not used to it at all, `cos since the first year i've lived in new york (2007), the longest time i've been unemployed is a month. i'm on my way to two now...*sigh*. what else did i expect, though? quit my job last year, didn't hone my networking skills, and recession is biting me in the ass. i'm living off my savings off of last year, and i'm awaiting the generous bailout money obama promises after tax season. life is generally boring for me. i'd like to think this is my transition phase as of the moment. i'm done with the "self-pity mode" phase, done with the "omg, wtf am i doing here?" thing, and i just wanna be in the "well, guess you have no choice but to count your blessings and stick it out" phase for now. nothing i can do for now. i'm applying everyday, pimping out my resume every so often, and don't tire of trying. it's not my fault. the economy's a bitch. i guess i should just try to be happy.
it's fucking hard though, i'll tell you that.
but what else am i supposed to do? smile, keep calm, and hope for the best... hahahaha. life. so random at times. ;-) |
|
| |
|
7 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
| ode to georgina (for dog lovers only :-) |
|
|
| 01:34pm 20/03/2009 |
| |
mood: peaceful music: i will remember you - sarah mclachlan (weep not for the memories...)
|
i never thought i could write in this journal again.
my last entry was so devastating and life-changing for me. i don't know how many of you knew my dog, george (april 10, 1996-july 21, 2008), or knew of how close i was to her, how special she was to me, my family, and my real friends. to lose someone so perfect for me, an indispensable part of my childhood joys, sadness, fears, and my total growth as a person, really, is something i have feared for the longest time. and it's a truth i still have a hard time accepting fully.
this sad reality is something i have to face, and i guess now is the perfect time to update everyone on how i am. i still feel like i lost a combination of a sister, a daughter, and a best friend. i can't remember the time anymore when she wasn't in my room with me, always there to comfort me when i start crying over issues i knew she understood. it's just that she was just always there, you know? i couldn't imagine not having her there when i needed her, or just needed to be comforted that she was doing alright when i was away.
( how i found out )
so there it was. the ugly truth that my baby girl had died. i was stupid and went to work the next day despite everyone's advice not to do so. i made it through the morning, but i eventually figured out i couldn't type and talk annoying work chatter to anybody while the tears wouldn't stop falling down my face. i went home and downed a bottle of bacardi and all the while crying and feeling sorry for myself.
something happened in the night that made me feel better though.
( misery loves people who understand the shit you're going through )
so...i slept that night a bit comforted... i was able to tell my sister back home that i would want her cremated, so i could still come back to her when i went home in october. i wasn't able to face her ashes right away when i got home, but when we moved houses and she found her resting home in our new room, i still felt as though her presence is still there somehow. yes, i know it's creepy to have ashes in your room, but if it belonged to someone that special to you, it serves more as a comfort than a nuisance.
so there. i miss my georgina. but i'm feeling much better now. i pray for her all the time, and cry occasionally when i'm reminded of her, or when it's her death monthsary (every 21st). i'd like to think she's really better off up there, because she deserves all the best.
i finished writing this now even though i started writing this on december 13, 2008, determined to discover the closure i so badly wanted. i wanted to write it now because i wanted to write again, and realized how much i missed logging my thoughts and sharing happiness, alleviating some angst, or whatever else it is i unload on this journal. plus, it's george's 8th death monthsary tomorrow. i'm slowly inching closer to finding peace on this subject, and with a little more time, i'm sure i'll get there.
also, it's the first day of spring. a new season, new beginnings, and new adventures to look forward to. i'd like to move forward in my life now, and not get stuck in a self-pity rut that i found comfort in during dark times. i'm sure george would want me to be happy. i don't want to disappoint her.
here's looking at you, mayms, my forever baby lamb! you were the most perfect companion for me. i love you more than words can ever express. everytime i look at fluffy clouds, you'll run through my mind, and i'll never forget you. have a blast in heaven. hopefully, i'll see you again someday. *cheers* :-)
 |
|
| |
|
a hushed audience... |
| |
| empty |
|
|
| 06:57pm 21/07/2008 |
| |
mood: angry
|
at eight pm on monday night, philippine time, my beautiful 12-year-old japanese spitz, georgina veronica medrano lim, died of a heart attack while playing with my sister's dog in her bed.
they say she went real peaceful, quick, and painless.
i don't give a fuck about any of that. i wasn't there. |
|
| |
|
26 BRAVA!!!s - a hushed audience... |
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
superstar_diva's journal
